Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
