You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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