idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
