I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
