Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
