I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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