she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
