dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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