Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
