It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
