at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
