he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
