ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
