It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
