There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
