New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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