loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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