Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they need to just BURY HIM!
The best revenge is premature balding
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
