tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
