Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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