Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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