we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
