I'm gonna have a badass scar
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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