if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
