He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I believe in your delicious
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize