He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
