i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
