is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it hurts more in the daytime
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
