i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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