You're so nebulous sometimes
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
