See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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