Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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