Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
