This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
