it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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