I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
