my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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