I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
