So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
