Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize