I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
