she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
