think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
