we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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