I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize