1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
