you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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