is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
