your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
