Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
