I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think my moral compass just broke
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
