you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she peed on how many people?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
