i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
