i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
