She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
