You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
