there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
