Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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