Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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