hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
