But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
